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I Thought I Would Start To Feel More Whole At Any Moment

by Matt Pignatore

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1.
Not Dead Yet 02:25
come to as a soul in a vacuum the air is tight light a noose beating heart working hard in no exact direction a trip to space never a better way to raise all the air right out of me i've consumed too many fires at once and now i'm on the tracks in flames but i'm not dead yet
2.
armed like a ghost a white sheet is draped over my body bagged with a lamp in tow like i'm being kicked out when i wanna stay haunting the house and making my faces i'm dragging toes while being tied to the ride as it goes i shrink and swell in a big dark cloud for now it's been hanging around and taking those faces and soon all the ages away with it the faces are changing i'm the same ghost just grown old
3.
Crime 03:49
walk it off with a shortcut through the park stalking all your thoughts committing what's surely a crime see they can't shake you off right so you keep hanging on tight watched them die as it turned into night you didn't wanna turn in yourself and burden yourself you didn't wanna squint in the light and so you turn to run off ignoring cracks along your side you'll eventually burst apart a hollow waste of heart a stubborn mind every time every crime that you stood beside
4.
Wallflower 02:04
i wanna know how to throw just like you cause you threw a rope in the fog and pulled through i thought i would start to feel more whole at any moment but i've still got parts of me in boxes unopened i'm sick of clinging to the lamplight in the wall right in the bulb thinking about what it's like to feel the blood flow and feel the circle wrap itself around you the shape will take you and all your see through parts too
5.
Goal Posts 02:56
all lifeless locked up and sitting around it's not lately more like all the time it's buried under my skin i've been digging underneath the soft soiled ground deep roots i'm gonna wait to dig out cause i don't get any sun and i'm frozen at dawn every morning goal posts when i keep getting up waiting on someone else to wrap me in some clothes i wish i could do what they do without any help deep roots i'm gonna wait to dig out so you can come and see for yourself where i'm found where i don't get any sun
6.
i've grown who's gonna make it to the top? it's told that everybody's hearts are there you don't stop to think they may be not we draw the line and run to die not told we've all been gold the whole time the truth was how my heart was shell yeah the truth was how i was so overwhelmed it's a small wall that's easy not to wanna climb they all were waiting on me waiting to see if i was on time not told it's all been gold and alright we would run and believe and we'd won not think and pass it on the truth was how my heart was shell yeah the truth was how i was so overwhelmed

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written and recorded over the course of 2018

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released April 7, 2019

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Matt Pignatore Lambertville, New Jersey

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